I’m just going to come right out and say it – it’s not for me and I don’t enjoy it. I love my son with all of my being but I am not cut out to be a stay at home mum. I know those who are unable to do so for various reasons will most likely get pissed off by this post but as I’ve said a million times, this is my blog, my thoughts and feelings. Don’t like it – don’t read it.
I am not choosing to go back to work for financial reasons, I am choosing to return to work for me, so I am able to provide an even better future for my child. Yes, I worry I will miss important milestones but I try not to think about it while coming to terms with the decision I’ve recently made.
The intention never was to not return but I kept my plans lose so I could see how I felt about being a SAHM. I went on maternity leave back in July, my boy was due in August. He is only 11 weeks old now and I’ve already made my decision – does that make me a bad parent? No, but after reading various articles online people sure act like it. There seems to be a lot of guilt associated with making the decision to put your children into some form of care, especially when they’re under 12 months old.
I am going to admit, before I became a parent I used to always wonder what SAHM’s did, I used to think they had it easy. Um, they don’t. Caring for a small human day/night is fucking hard work. My decision to return to work is not because I can’t hack it, I know many don’t have a choice and simply have to return to work because they financially can’t afford to stay home. In the industry I am in, I am lucky to be able to work 1-2 days from home and will look to find suitable care for my child 3 days per week. This is going to be hard for me, due to the guilt I feel from others responses such as “oh wow, you’re going back to work?”, “but he will only be 6 months old”, “what if you miss his first steps?”. Yes, thank you captain obvious.
I am doing what long term is the best option for me and my child. I need adult conversations, I need to be challenged and I want to continue building my career whilst providing for my family. For some people, like me, being at home all the time can get really lonely, yes – you have your wee one there but if you’re accustomed to the camaraderie of being around other adults, the drastic change can lead to bad feelings. Endless dirty nappies and washing becomes frustrating and its hard to find a sense of accomplishment.
I know I have a few close friends who have found themselves in similar situations. We’re good mums and our children will thank us one day. If you’re facing the tough decision and are weighing up your options, do what feels right, if you enjoy being a SAHM – I take my hat off to you, do whatever possible to stay home with your little one, look into work that you can from home. If you aren’t enjoying it, it’s OK to return to work, your child isn’t going to love you any less.