In my last post, I wrote all about Baxter’s first day at Daycare and how I knew in my heart/head that I had made the right decision.
Baxter lasted 2 days before I withdrew him from the centre. Was that a sufficient amount of time for me to make an informed decision? For me, yes. I know there will be lots of people out there who will disagree with my decision, but it’s exactly that – my decision.
It didn’t feel right. He felt too young in comparison to the other children. Maybe I wasn’t ready, maybe he wasn’t ready? After pickup on the second day, I just wasn’t happy, I arrived to find another child hitting him on the head with a wooden toy. Yes, eventually the teacher told them to ‘give Baxter some space’. My understanding from our settling visits was that because he was so young, he would have own dedicated space which other children ‘knew to stay out of’. Not the case in my opinion. A few other things happened which just reassured me that pulling him out was, in fact, the best thing to do. To respect the privacy of the centre I will not name it, nor will I go into full details on what I wasn’t happy with. Did I discuss it with them? I told them I had concerns, but I didn’t go into great detail. In my mind, I had already made my decision. He is still a baby, all the other kids were crawling or walking and I just didn’t feel like they were accommodating of that.
I am fortunate enough to be in a job/career which allows me to be somewhat flexible. So the decision was made that for the time being, B will come into work with me. It’s been about 3 weeks and its working well. The staff love him and it’s so nice to have him here with me while also being able to have those adult conversations I have so desperately missed. I often worry that I might annoy the other staff but Baxter is a pretty good baby and very really cries for no reason plus, I have a nice big office so we’ve set up a mini nursery away from home and he has everything he could possibly need here at work with me. Clients are extremely welcoming of the idea and it is quite common overseas to have child-friendly workplaces. Since having Baxter, I have become 100% more productive with the time I do have to get things done so I know that I am doing my bit to contribute.
Will I put him back into care? Yes, eventually. When? I don’t know, when I feel him and I are both ready. There will be people out there who will think I am mad, who will straight away jump to the assumption that it came down to me not being ready. I don’t think this is the case, I was so mentally prepared to drop him off on his 1st day. Part of me wishes that it did work out but as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason.
Everybody is different, every baby is different and I am sure every care facility is different so don’t take what I say as an experience that all with have. I have friends who have put their children in early (Bax was 5 months) and have never once questioned their decision.
I will make the most of my current situation and realise how lucky I am to have the best of both worlds.