Just because my child sleeps, doesn’t mean I do

When people hear how my much my child likes to sleep I am always hit with the “oh that must be fantastic, you’ll feel like a normal person again getting all that sleep”. Um. No. Far from it. I often feel like I did in those early newborn days.

To the mums who have babies who don’t like to sleep, I feel for you – I really do. It’s fucking tough. Baxter has slept 12-14 hours a night and has done since around 4-5 months (currently 9 months) and also has two day sleeps but my sleep is as shit as it always has been.

Yes, I am extremely lucky he enjoys sleep, he definitely takes after his father in that department but don’t be fooled, I have the sleep cycle of a small child and wake several times a night. I have suffered severe insomnia for a large chunk of my life. I’ve tried it all, herbal remedies, prescription sleeping pills and recently Melatonin. The melatonin worked for a while, well, it still does but I have horrific nightmares and it’s getting to the point where I think I may need to stop taking it. I know its not a long term fix but to look after a baby, do general household chores, run this blog, a business and work full time, I really need some sleep. My biggest issue is getting too sleep. I have the most overactive brain EVERRRRR and physically cannot switch off. I can lay there for hours sometimes. Any small noise will wake me and I seem to be waking up at 4am every morning the last few weeks.

I don’t want sympathy, I should just be grateful that B is a good sleeper – and I am! I just want to put it out there that don’t make assumptions, just because people are lucky in some departments doesn’t make them an all round winner.

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