We’ve all experienced it at some point, sometimes even daily. This overwhelming sense of guilt.
Whether it’s for going back to work, choosing to put your child into some form of care, for not breastfeeding, simply sometimes for just not doing what society deems ‘normal’. We feel like a bad parent, we feel judged and we feel guilty.
I feel guilty for a variety of reasons and no matter what I choose to do, I will end up feeling guilty. I feel guilty because I know people are coming over and I haven’t cleaned the house. I then decide to focus on getting the house tidy to clear my mind and then feel guilty for not spending time with Baxter. I tidy it, Baxter makes a mess within minutes, I get angry and then I feel guilty again.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Before becoming a parent I didn’t experience guilt this regularly, I guess because I only really had myself to worry about. Now there is this little person who is so dependent on me and all I want to do is make him proud and ensure he is happy + healthy.
In this crazy adventure we call parenting the guilt is never ending and I am sure it is only going to be heightened once our children grow older and start learning/experimenting new things.
What can we do? I’ve decided to take a different approach. Embrace the guilt. None of us are perfect. We need to learn to be not so hard on ourselves. Experiencing this much guilt makes me realise I care. It doesn’t make me a bad person. Guilt makes me human, I think about the end result, I CARE about the end result. I would worry a little if I stopped feeling this way.
So, next time you’re feeling guilty, embrace that shit. Pat yourself on the back for caring, realise you are making a difference in your little one’s life and they chose you for a reason.